Thank you for sending your assignment. Here is the feedback. Please work on the changes and resend the amended ones before 5 Aug 2011.~Siti, 2 Aug 2011
Amir = 013-4002499 Norlee = 019-4173686 Title: Contributing factors that cause non-smoker to smoke Contributing factors that cause people to smoke (why people start smooking)
1. Family
a) Bad role model by parent or family member either sibling or cousin. (Why do you have all male models. Do you think females do not smoke?) Openly smoking infront of their childrent ('children" is the standard English used not 'kids") might influent the children behavior.
Song By Ugly kid joe (Cat in the craddle) predescribe on how the parent behaviour influent their kid growth. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B32yjbCSVpU
a) Bad role model by parent or any family member (either sibling or cousin *general so it could be male or female family member or parent). so openly smooking in-front of the children might influence the children behavior (what we mean it that they could turn out to be a smooker too in the future if left un-monitor) . we try to illustrate this point with one of the ugly kid joe song "cat in the craddle" which the lyric show some of our point how bad influence from parent lead the children to turn out to be just like them "a smooker". -To imitate adults around them: usually parents who smoke, set an example for their children. Most people who smoke, have at least seen one of their parents/ relatives smoking. It seems to be okay to do it, and so they take it up as an accepted norm.
- Lack of parental support / involvement. "support" is a noun. Usually, you have a adjective before a noun. "parental" is the adjective for parent (noun) ~ Siti
2. Friends
- friend's invitation
- To look cool in-front of their friends or is looked down for not smoking(check spelling). wanting to be accepted by the group of friends that are smokers(check spelling) so other friend tend to be influenced by group members and become smokers too.
- To look cool in-front of their friends or is looked down for not smooking. wanting to be accepted by the group of friends that are smookers so other friend tend to be influenced by group members and become smookers too. "from our experience as a teenager, children are more comfortable sharing or discussing their problem or anything with their friend. so what we mean to say is that their friend influence is greater, what their friend think is what most important to them compare to logic or what society think of their behavior." - smoking as a habit is picked up quite early in age. Many people start smoking in their teens, and it usually begins with peer pressure. Since the teenager sees most of his/her friends do it, they are pressurized in to trying it out in order to “fit-in” with the crowd.
3. Own self
- eager to try when seeing people around smoke. Feel like something special when they smoke.(tell me why are they eager to try?)
why they eager to try:
it's their nature, every children have the urge to try every new thing they see and this could be a good thing or maybe a bad thing they are left unguided. "The good news is that young children are naturally curious.But if their incessant “Why” is dismissed by adults as silly and uninteresting,given only a perfunctory “just because” or “I don’t know,” children can lose the gift of curiosity that they began with, and develop into passive, unquestioning adults. Visit any second-grade classroom and you will generally find a room full of energy and excitement, with kids eager to make new observations and to try to figure things out". so this statement proven our point why children inner-self of eager to try could lead to bad thing or wrongdoing.
- When the youth live with their parents, they are less likely to smoke. When they leave out parents to join a college, they may feel independent from parents and think that they can smoke that they were not able to do while they stayed at home.
- Youngsters like to try out forbidden stuff, they like to rebel, so they make take up smoking as a form of rebellion, especially when parents are too “strict and disciplinarian”. what starts out as a rebellion, could turn into a serious addiction.
- Low self esteem. to look cool or agreesif(check spelling) so smoking is one way to raise up(boost one's)the image.
Some children may also begin to smoke if they have low self-esteem. Smoking may get them in with the "in crowd" and help them to make friends. If they smoke, then they will be accepted by their peers. (Once accepted, how is their self-esteem?Find out pls.)
- this point is base from my experience as a fellow smookers as how i start smooking. since i'm surrounding with a friends whom all smookers i feel kind of left out in certain thing or activities so i feel to blend in with them and to show that i'm also cool by smooking. so that what i mean to blend in with the "in crowd". - for some children, maybe during school they don't stand out much which their confidence level is low so they feel the need to do something outrages or cool to be notice by their friend and to blend in. this is what i mean how smooking is a way to boost one's image.
- Teens seem to be more abrasive when smoking or they feel like they are older and wiser when they smoke. (Why does being older makes you abrasive?)
- Independence. For some teenagers, smoking might mean independence. One of the main developmental tasks of adolescence is to assert independence from one’s parents by construction of one’s own identity.
- Peer Pressure Peer pressure is a significant factor for many people who start to smoke. Economic status, educational level and family history are significant factors that determine the level of peer pressure and the consequences of such pressure.
4. Media/Advertising & society
- Trend (what trends?) or environmental factor
- Some children have said that they smoke to appear older and more grown up, especially if they are surrounded by young adults who smoke. (Does this detail support "trends" or "environmental factor"? If they think that smoking makes them older and wiser, would you consider it to be an "environmental factor"?)
- influence by their artis(check spelling) international or domestic artist that are smoking.
influence by their artist; Some teenagers take it up as a habit in order to appear cool and grown up to imitate role models, movie idols, etc. so this is what we mean by trend; to imitate their model which they might feel to look cool is by smooking.
Dear Amir and Norlee, please make changes by inserting the correct ones in another colour. Please do not use blue though.
My comments on your points:
1. You can come up with a better title because
- your points are explaining about factors that cause a non-smoker to smoke
- does not accurately say about the factors that cause smokers to die early
The last article is hard to see if the article is reliable because I cannot find the author's credential or the name of a recognised organisation that we know is giving the correct facts. Best to avoid these kinds of articles.
Thank you for sending your assignment. Here is the feedback. Please work on the changes and resend the amended ones before 5 Aug 2011.~Siti, 2 Aug 2011
Amir = 013-4002499
Norlee = 019-4173686
Title:
Contributing factors that cause non-smoker to smoke
Contributing factors that cause people to smoke (why people start smooking)
1. Family
a) Bad role model by parent or family member either sibling or cousin. (Why do you have all male models. Do you think females do not smoke?) Openly smoking infront of their childrent ('children" is the standard English used not 'kids") might influent the children behavior.
Song By Ugly kid joe (Cat in the craddle) predescribe on how the parent behaviour influent their kid growth.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B32yjbCSVpU
a) Bad role model by parent or any family member (either sibling or cousin *general so it could be male or female family member or parent). so openly smooking in-front of the children might influence the children behavior (what we mean it that they could turn out to be a smooker too in the future if left un-monitor) . we try to illustrate this point with one of the ugly kid joe song "cat in the craddle" which the lyric show some of our point how bad influence from parent lead the children to turn out to be just like them "a smooker".
-To imitate adults around them: usually parents who smoke, set an example for their children. Most people who smoke, have at least seen one of their parents/ relatives smoking. It seems to be okay to do it, and so they take it up as an accepted norm.
- Lack of parental support / involvement.
"support" is a noun. Usually, you have a adjective before a noun. "parental" is the adjective for parent (noun) ~ Siti
2. Friends
- friend's invitation
- To look cool in-front of their friends or is looked down for not smoking (check spelling). wanting to be accepted by the group of friends that are smokers (check spelling) so other friend tend to be influenced by group members and become smokers too.
- To look cool in-front of their friends or is looked down for not smooking. wanting to be accepted by the group of friends that are smookers so other friend tend to be influenced by group members and become smookers too.
"from our experience as a teenager, children are more comfortable sharing or discussing their problem or anything with their friend. so what we mean to say is that their friend influence is greater, what their friend think is what most important to them compare to logic or what society think of their behavior."
- smoking as a habit is picked up quite early in age. Many people start smoking in their teens, and it usually begins with peer pressure. Since the teenager sees most of his/her friends do it, they are pressurized in to trying it out in order to “fit-in” with the crowd.
3. Own self
- eager to try when seeing people around smoke. Feel like something special when they smoke.(tell me why are they eager to try?)
why they eager to try:
it's their nature, every children have the urge to try every new thing they see and this could be a good thing or maybe a bad thing they are left unguided.
"The good news is that young children are naturally curious.But if their incessant “Why” is dismissed by adults as silly and uninteresting,given only a perfunctory “just because” or “I don’t know,” children can lose the gift of curiosity that they began with, and develop into passive, unquestioning adults. Visit any second-grade classroom and you will generally find a room full of energy and excitement, with kids eager to make new observations and to try to figure things out". so this statement proven our point why children inner-self of eager to try could lead to bad thing or wrongdoing.
- When the youth live with their parents, they are less likely to smoke. When they leave out parents to join a college, they may feel independent from parents and think that they can smoke that they were not able to do while they stayed at home.
- Youngsters like to try out forbidden stuff, they like to rebel, so they make take up smoking as a form of rebellion, especially when parents are too “strict and disciplinarian”. what starts out as a rebellion, could turn into a serious addiction.
- Low self esteem. to look cool or agreesif (check spelling) so smoking is one way to raise up (boost one's) the image.
Some children may also begin to smoke if they have low self-esteem. Smoking may get them in with the "in crowd" and help them to make friends. If they smoke, then they will be accepted by their peers. (Once accepted, how is their self-esteem?Find out pls.)
- this point is base from my experience as a fellow smookers as how i start smooking. since i'm surrounding with a friends whom all smookers i feel kind of left out in certain thing or activities so i feel to blend in with them and to show that i'm also cool by smooking. so that what i mean to blend in with the "in crowd".
- for some children, maybe during school they don't stand out much which their confidence level is low so they feel the need to do something outrages or cool to be notice by their friend and to blend in. this is what i mean how smooking is a way to boost one's image.
- Teens seem to be more abrasive when smoking or they feel like they are older and wiser when they smoke. (Why does being older makes you abrasive?)
- Independence.
For some teenagers, smoking might mean independence. One of the main developmental tasks of adolescence is to assert independence from one’s parents by construction
of one’s own identity.
- Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is a significant factor for many people who start to smoke. Economic status, educational level and family history are significant factors that determine the level of peer pressure and the consequences of such pressure.
4. Media/Advertising & society
- Trend (what trends?) or environmental factor
- Some children have said that they smoke to appear older and more grown up, especially if they are surrounded by young adults who smoke. (Does this detail support "trends" or "environmental factor"? If they think that smoking makes them older and wiser, would you consider it to be an "environmental factor"?)
- influence by their artis (check spelling) international or domestic artist that are smoking.
influence by their artist;
Some teenagers take it up as a habit in order to appear cool and grown up to imitate role models, movie idols, etc. so this is what we mean by trend; to imitate their model which they might feel to look cool is by smooking.
Dear Amir and Norlee, please make changes by inserting the correct ones in another colour. Please do not use blue though.
My comments on your points:
1. You can come up with a better title because
- your points are explaining about factors that cause a non-smoker to smoke
- does not accurately say about the factors that cause smokers to die early
Therefore, what do you think are the factors that cause smokers to die early?
a) being a smoker and also an alcoholic at the same time can cause early death
b) I can't think of any
(So, this would be an example of a point for your current title. What would you decide now for your title?)
http://www.infosihat.gov.my/taknak/KempenTakNak.php
http://www.healthpromo.gov.my/V2/Promosi/images/stories/KAkhbar/perokok.jpg
http://www.articlesfactory.com/articles/health/factors-that-influence-smoking-habits-and-how-you-can-quit-smoking-for-life.html
http://www.helpwithsmoking.com/why-people-smoke.php
http://biochemistry.ucsf.edu/labs/alberts/Editorials/albertsoninquiry.pdf
http://www.bygpub.com/books/tg2rw/smoking.htm
http://hubpages.com/hub/7-Reasons-why-people-start-smoking
http://www.educationworld.com/a_lesson/lesson/lesson034.shtml
The last article is hard to see if the article is reliable because I cannot find the author's credential or the name of a recognised organisation that we know is giving the correct facts. Best to avoid these kinds of articles.